You're not a bad person. You only believe that you are, because life made you go through bad times and it made you turn to bad decisions to defend and ease yourself from the pain. And all this makes you feel guilty. And so it's easy to label yourself as bad. But it is okay to feel like this. Just know that you're not a bad person at all. It shows that you're deeply a good person at heart, because you've been craving for goodness all your life when all you got was badness. But once you realize this, you will break free from the torture and start making good choices for your life. You will do what it takes to gain that good heart of yours back from a world that made you so cold in the first place.